Saturday, June 2, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
You are my brother. Oh my brother--my kin of blood by birth. We've grown so cold, so distant, did destiny play us it's hand? I love you still with all my heart as darkness takes your soul and the corruption of the power's infecting your mind. We've grown up now and war takes its toll--oh the horror and the pain; the war rages on but I've never forgotten you once.
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end. I send you away to save our people from your darkened heart. Goodbye, my blood brother I banish you to Outland!
My battles are endless. Oh, the war rages on! I must keep on fighting lest there is no hope for our people and this world! The demons will eat us, twist us and make us their own. The pain we feel like fire burning our soul is a shred of the hell that awaits us in defeat. Use your will, use your magic and conquer all that you can find! There are more long nights before us yet so fight!
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end. I send you away to save our people from your darkened heart. Goodbye, my blood brother. I banish you forever to Outland!
Oh save me, come save me I am cursed and trapped. I'm snared in this crystal ball--I've been played as a fool. The torment is endless in this glimpse of eternity. My calls fall on def ears as you turned you back in hate. Your spite and your rage will be the downfall of Azeroth; have you sense in you at all? The titan master has tainted you inside and you can't resist what you don't know.
Don't sell your soul. Deceived, you've played us all as fools. You're the yellow jester and in the court of the highborn you wait to make your move. You must be strong and remember what you love, she's held prisoner and will be sacrificed when the moon falls. The moon is falling tonight!
Drink from the well, and destroy that demon's disk--the charm with the power of gods. Save your love from torrent's anger and flee from the horror that's been wrought. The titan has fallen and your power destroyed. Bring forth a new evil and taint the purest of waters with the darkness we've conquered before and I'll build from it the tree. It will be good and it will be great this tree of the world. It will cleanse the evil of your deed.
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end I send you away to save this world from your heart of darkness. Goodbye, my dearest brother of blood. Be gone now, forever, to Outland!
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end. I send you away to save our people from your darkened heart. Goodbye, my blood brother I banish you to Outland!
My battles are endless. Oh, the war rages on! I must keep on fighting lest there is no hope for our people and this world! The demons will eat us, twist us and make us their own. The pain we feel like fire burning our soul is a shred of the hell that awaits us in defeat. Use your will, use your magic and conquer all that you can find! There are more long nights before us yet so fight!
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end. I send you away to save our people from your darkened heart. Goodbye, my blood brother. I banish you forever to Outland!
Oh save me, come save me I am cursed and trapped. I'm snared in this crystal ball--I've been played as a fool. The torment is endless in this glimpse of eternity. My calls fall on def ears as you turned you back in hate. Your spite and your rage will be the downfall of Azeroth; have you sense in you at all? The titan master has tainted you inside and you can't resist what you don't know.
Don't sell your soul. Deceived, you've played us all as fools. You're the yellow jester and in the court of the highborn you wait to make your move. You must be strong and remember what you love, she's held prisoner and will be sacrificed when the moon falls. The moon is falling tonight!
Drink from the well, and destroy that demon's disk--the charm with the power of gods. Save your love from torrent's anger and flee from the horror that's been wrought. The titan has fallen and your power destroyed. Bring forth a new evil and taint the purest of waters with the darkness we've conquered before and I'll build from it the tree. It will be good and it will be great this tree of the world. It will cleanse the evil of your deed.
Farewell to you my kin, this is the end I send you away to save this world from your heart of darkness. Goodbye, my dearest brother of blood. Be gone now, forever, to Outland!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Betrayed
Look into my face and tell me what you see. See my wrath; see the monster you thought you knew. I am hiding nothing and you scream in fear. You fear for your sanity as I stand in front of you, thrashing at your barrier of ignorance. I am not wearing the mask you once knew.
Look into my eyes, so scorched and burned with pain. Tell me what you see. You see the magic and rage in an endless chill of love long lost. The touch of Sargeras--I see through the veil that blinds you now. Seeing the truth I am cursed with eternal madness, so fear me.
The titan's touch I wear on my skin--you cower in disgust. A mark of magic for the purest of corruption. Deceived and more than a bargain, will I be tied to it's creator forever? The jester yet fools the master and is the victor in the high court of guile. No regret.
I've disowned my father and betrayed my mother. I've watched my own brother fall in with the love of his life while I am looked down upon. Kicked and cuffed I strive for amends and seek to return to things destroyed. I am punished scolded with only one place left to go.
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see. Scream with fear; run with fear; cower in the face of the eyes that see the truth. See my vision of the underlying currents and the evils of your work. See my arcane sight and know what should not be known. Look into my eyes.
The day will come when this world burns and who will be left but those of power? Exile! See me drink from this well and become what I've ever longed to be!! Exile!
Look into my eyes, so scorched and burned with pain. Tell me what you see. You see the magic and rage in an endless chill of love long lost. The touch of Sargeras--I see through the veil that blinds you now. Seeing the truth I am cursed with eternal madness, so fear me.
The titan's touch I wear on my skin--you cower in disgust. A mark of magic for the purest of corruption. Deceived and more than a bargain, will I be tied to it's creator forever? The jester yet fools the master and is the victor in the high court of guile. No regret.
I've disowned my father and betrayed my mother. I've watched my own brother fall in with the love of his life while I am looked down upon. Kicked and cuffed I strive for amends and seek to return to things destroyed. I am punished scolded with only one place left to go.
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see. Scream with fear; run with fear; cower in the face of the eyes that see the truth. See my vision of the underlying currents and the evils of your work. See my arcane sight and know what should not be known. Look into my eyes.
The day will come when this world burns and who will be left but those of power? Exile! See me drink from this well and become what I've ever longed to be!! Exile!
Friday, April 13, 2012
The Judgement
I have a close friend that I spend an amount of time with on a regular basis and he is, in short, the one friend I grew up with. We have an extensive history of semi-friendly battles and adventures and all of those sorts of things. Not often had either of us done something notable without the other. We were like brothers, him and I. About a year after we graduated and he started college in the neighboring town, I moved away. I move my life far enough away where communication between us was greatly diminished to the occasional sharing of recent adventures. It was up until this point that we had, more or less, a sharing of directions in our own personal developments. We both had found a deep interest in exploring new places which budded into an even deeper interest in the cosmos. We shared learned knowledge and came to our own conclusions based on a combination of what the two of had learned thus far about any given subject and this allow for a steady and side-by-side learning curve and ideals structure. That system of knowledge-sharing broke when I left for the desert.
About the time I was getting the hang of living in such a strange new place, my friend, whom I shall simply call Dane, was just getting into his major classes for the semester. Every now and then he would give me some new bit of interesting information or some new thing to go and research on my own accord and very quickly we had come with an idea to get both of into space (the story behind getting into space is worth an entire new post in and of itself). We planned and conversed and conceptualized many new things that, dare I say, were on the edge of space technology as it is (I had become an inventor for a short time, it seemed). As the year went on we began contacting each other less and less. As this happened I bean spending more time pursuing my own secondary education outside of my technical training. Over the summer I had taken a six week break from school and traveled through many very amazing places. It was this adventure that, I believe, was the pivotal point in not only the relationship between Dane and I, but also my own life, ideals, and belief systems..
There had been a few hints of our growing separation towards the end of 2011 but I didn't really notice how big the gap was until I had finished school and moved myself back to the pseudo-jungles of Wisconsin and we had already caught up with each other in whatever stories there were to tell. We had gotten back into conversations of space and I had began to notice something darker about him--about his desire--that hadn't been there before. He would begin to space out and utter things I highly doubt he was consciously aware of; selfish things, greedy things, and, the perfect word came to me last night, Faustian things. His desire for space had turned itself into a desire for wealth and power. He would be more than willing cause the destruction of that planets in our own solar system simply for his own personal gain of exploring a new one. He would use a gift of eternal life to build an empire, rule and conquer, and eventually build a big enough vessel at any expense for his permanent leave of this planetary system. And it is extremely important that I am not saying these things as an interpretation of some casual conversation but actual utterances from a seemingly altered state of mind. And it's not to speak of the look in his eyes when he spoke, either. The look in his eyes; oh! the look was haunting even for someone like myself. In my previous post I had spoken of the look in someone's eyes when they are entranced by the television set and what I have seen with this companion of mine goes beyond entrancement--beyond dreaming. What I saw was a hint of possession by some terrible thing. I had once had a desire for outer space that had turned into a longing--a yearning-- of its own but the fire in Dane's eyes was one burning of lust. The desire I once knew he held had become a raging inferno of filthy and evil lust.
Around the same time period that I had first noticed this change, or, realistically, about 12 hours before his first unwitting mention of building an empire, I had stumbled upon and read the short story by Brian Kindregan entitled The Judgment. (The story can be found HERE) It did take much contemplation, in fact, I hadn't even finished the story, before I came to the realization of the fact that should both of us continue on the paths we are currently treading, then our friendship is to dwindle and fade into something else. We have both set our own ideals deep within ourselves and even to this day we are still wading our own way through the think underbrush. I realized that there is a bond between that could never be severed by time. We would always be aware of each other in some way or another and that we just might become greatest enemies after all. It isn't so much that I'm opposed to space travel; no I'm more to support it. I am simply opposed to the kind of selfish irresponsibility that is to throw to the wayside the very foundation that allowed the end to be realized. The end does not justify the means. The end is merely a fleeting point in time that is the fuel for the means to occur. The end is only as pure as the means with which it was achieved. You simply can't make a fine stew with rotten meat. At the same time, I have nearly found here what I was looking for out there, in the vast sea of the cosmos. I have gained certain wisdom that has allowed me to see now what I was missing before. I realize that there is naught that I could do, much less desire to do, that would change the will of my friend. We both have our beliefs about how to live and I, at the very least, will uphold those values.
Jumping back to present day I see that Dane and I are already, in a sense, mortal enemies. The internal strife between is as a single spore, at the moment; a single spore ready to grow quickly into a deadly mold. It is there and I can sense, but I'm not so sure that he can. It's complicated, the way fate works, but perhaps in the distant future we will but heads in a great battle of sorts. I cannot say for sure because not one year ago I would have never seen this turn of events. It's as if I'm to find my own course of action, at this point. I have the whole world in front of me and I wonder if this a time of judgment for myself. I can only hope that what I see of the future comes to pass before I'm grey and old. There are certainly things astir in the world; I can smell it as the moon rises every night and hear it in the song of the toads. What I'm still fighting with is myself and what, exactly, would I do should I wake up from a dream to find my home in smoldering ruin--it will happen one day. Only time will tell.
About the time I was getting the hang of living in such a strange new place, my friend, whom I shall simply call Dane, was just getting into his major classes for the semester. Every now and then he would give me some new bit of interesting information or some new thing to go and research on my own accord and very quickly we had come with an idea to get both of into space (the story behind getting into space is worth an entire new post in and of itself). We planned and conversed and conceptualized many new things that, dare I say, were on the edge of space technology as it is (I had become an inventor for a short time, it seemed). As the year went on we began contacting each other less and less. As this happened I bean spending more time pursuing my own secondary education outside of my technical training. Over the summer I had taken a six week break from school and traveled through many very amazing places. It was this adventure that, I believe, was the pivotal point in not only the relationship between Dane and I, but also my own life, ideals, and belief systems..
There had been a few hints of our growing separation towards the end of 2011 but I didn't really notice how big the gap was until I had finished school and moved myself back to the pseudo-jungles of Wisconsin and we had already caught up with each other in whatever stories there were to tell. We had gotten back into conversations of space and I had began to notice something darker about him--about his desire--that hadn't been there before. He would begin to space out and utter things I highly doubt he was consciously aware of; selfish things, greedy things, and, the perfect word came to me last night, Faustian things. His desire for space had turned itself into a desire for wealth and power. He would be more than willing cause the destruction of that planets in our own solar system simply for his own personal gain of exploring a new one. He would use a gift of eternal life to build an empire, rule and conquer, and eventually build a big enough vessel at any expense for his permanent leave of this planetary system. And it is extremely important that I am not saying these things as an interpretation of some casual conversation but actual utterances from a seemingly altered state of mind. And it's not to speak of the look in his eyes when he spoke, either. The look in his eyes; oh! the look was haunting even for someone like myself. In my previous post I had spoken of the look in someone's eyes when they are entranced by the television set and what I have seen with this companion of mine goes beyond entrancement--beyond dreaming. What I saw was a hint of possession by some terrible thing. I had once had a desire for outer space that had turned into a longing--a yearning-- of its own but the fire in Dane's eyes was one burning of lust. The desire I once knew he held had become a raging inferno of filthy and evil lust.
Around the same time period that I had first noticed this change, or, realistically, about 12 hours before his first unwitting mention of building an empire, I had stumbled upon and read the short story by Brian Kindregan entitled The Judgment. (The story can be found HERE) It did take much contemplation, in fact, I hadn't even finished the story, before I came to the realization of the fact that should both of us continue on the paths we are currently treading, then our friendship is to dwindle and fade into something else. We have both set our own ideals deep within ourselves and even to this day we are still wading our own way through the think underbrush. I realized that there is a bond between that could never be severed by time. We would always be aware of each other in some way or another and that we just might become greatest enemies after all. It isn't so much that I'm opposed to space travel; no I'm more to support it. I am simply opposed to the kind of selfish irresponsibility that is to throw to the wayside the very foundation that allowed the end to be realized. The end does not justify the means. The end is merely a fleeting point in time that is the fuel for the means to occur. The end is only as pure as the means with which it was achieved. You simply can't make a fine stew with rotten meat. At the same time, I have nearly found here what I was looking for out there, in the vast sea of the cosmos. I have gained certain wisdom that has allowed me to see now what I was missing before. I realize that there is naught that I could do, much less desire to do, that would change the will of my friend. We both have our beliefs about how to live and I, at the very least, will uphold those values.
Jumping back to present day I see that Dane and I are already, in a sense, mortal enemies. The internal strife between is as a single spore, at the moment; a single spore ready to grow quickly into a deadly mold. It is there and I can sense, but I'm not so sure that he can. It's complicated, the way fate works, but perhaps in the distant future we will but heads in a great battle of sorts. I cannot say for sure because not one year ago I would have never seen this turn of events. It's as if I'm to find my own course of action, at this point. I have the whole world in front of me and I wonder if this a time of judgment for myself. I can only hope that what I see of the future comes to pass before I'm grey and old. There are certainly things astir in the world; I can smell it as the moon rises every night and hear it in the song of the toads. What I'm still fighting with is myself and what, exactly, would I do should I wake up from a dream to find my home in smoldering ruin--it will happen one day. Only time will tell.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
When Will It End?
I finished my work for the night and prepared my pack for the ride home. My bike lock, work shoes, and next morning's food fit neatly in its confines and I pedaled off into the night. It is not abnormal for people to be at first surprised that, regardless of the weather conditions, I had chosen to ride my bike to work as opposed to driving my car and I had grown accustomed to convincing offerers that I was plenty fine with having to work towards my destination. In all honesty, it goes beyond riding a bicycle as a hobby. Once actually shunning the use of automobiles from my daily life I began to really understand what J.M. Greer was saying when he described how, all things considered, a human body is inconceivably more efficient in its use of measurable energy than any machine could ever be. Not only that, I also get the chance to get some always-needed exercise, when I go out using my bicycle, or feet, for transportation.
I rode down a dark road where I could see the faintest bit of twilight just fading away as the Earth continued its normal rotation and as many stars as one could see from the middle of a mid-sized--and growing--town on the western edges of Wisconsin. It was just getting chilly enough to show my breath as I exhaled. Once home I come to the door that is usually my entrance into the halled apartment complex and very soon noticed that there were several air condition unit running full tilt. From there it was the same as always through the hallway and my own, slightly stuck front door leading into my under-lit apartment.
I saw the same thing in Phoenix. It could be twenty-five degrees outside and yet people would persist in running the air conditioner to cool down their over-heated apartments. This was at the same time I couldn't get enough heat into my living space (I have been living without a heater and using no lights). Then as is now, I find it remarkable at the inability of people to open a window to cool their space instead of using the air conditioner and I have to ask, "why?" Why is our society becoming so hopelessly addicted to the conveniences we're given that they are almost becoming inconveniences? How could someone possibly find it easier and more comforting to complain about the inadequacy of air-cooling unit and be uncomfortable in their living space than to simply open up the window to be comfortable? It's madness that I can barely comprehend. There's an unwillingness to open even a screened window as if there is some sort of disabling superstition that something other than pure, artificial air may enter that's also accompanied with the obsessive and unnoticed psychological addiction to any and every man-made machine available. It's like in 1984 when '2+2=5"." "Nothing is better than modern technology. Nothing is better than modern technology," is the nonsense that is consistently and subliminally drilled into our skulls from every corner of today's western world.
What's happening is that the majority of the human race is being trained to utterly forget exactly where we come from. I can just see the latest medical magazines telling us, "If you weren't born in a plastic tube, you're FUCKED!" We're being trained to forget that the Earth is the vessel for all life we could possibly experience or even imagine. To those who would not pay attention to the further and increasingly conclusive studies to the contrary, it is becoming ever more nigh impossible to think that rolling around in the dirt, and drinking unpasteurized milk, isn't going to kill you. It's all too easy to look back a hundred years and say that bleed out from the ankles to cure the common cold is madness but it's also all too easy to see the teaching from anywhere in the past thirty-six thousand years and see that popping synthetic pills filled with unreal and bare, unnatural substances that have adverse affects on the body is madness. But all of that is......not at all besides the point, actually.
I think one of the greatest imaginable evils in today's world is the television. It is the television that makes one so easily controllable. It is the television that makes one uncomfortable with the Earth. It is the television that lulls one into a hypnotic daze that wastes away the time and keeps the mind from realizing the truth that is every day you spend watching TV is a day utterly wasted.
A mother wakes up, readies herself for the day, takes her kids to daycare and goes to work. In the evening she picks her kids up, goes home, feeds herself and her kids, and watches television before going to bed. She has accomplished nothing. One more day of survival has passed. She conducted her routine at work and at home. Not once did she take the time to ponder her situation and place in this world, her kids' place in this world, nor anything that could be done to change or better it. Yes, there are hopes for the future, but they are merely hopes. She uses the television at night to take her away from worrying about whatever it is she is inclined to worry or concern herself about. You can see it in her eyes when the commercials roll forth, battering her with a blitzkrieg of useless information, images, pseudo-fantasies, and, let's be honest here, lies. You see that sort of glazed look you see when someones been hypnotized on a stage or slumped in a hallway after shooting heroin. If you're watching you can see that she is absent from the real world, stuck in a hole that she can't so easily escape from--on the edge of starting to drool. The eyes of this woman are not the eyes of a great thinker, or even a simpleton farmer who, in the truest essence of things, is a great thinker. No--no, she is a zombie--a sad and almost pitiful sight as you can nearly see her brains and willpower melting slowly away with every minute that those phosphorescent images flash rapidly in her face. She has accomplished no improvement nor evolution in her thought or development as a spiritual being. She and her life are wasting away.
As I said, the television is the greatest of all evils. It drugs the user into a numb stupor that after repeated use, make the situation of sitting in a chair in the confines of a single enclosed living space--a prison--ever more ideal and comfortable to the point where anything outside of this norm is something bordering on a nightmare. And that point, dear reader, is one of the reasons everybody in the world is outright lazy. Rather than taking the time to walk two blocks to the drug store for condoms and a pack of cigarettes, they get in their car and drive. They drive because they want to get away from the outside air and back in front of their television set, or their computer, as quickly as possible. They can't be bothered to take and extra fifteen minutes to commute two miles to work. Eventually, they become so rancidly addicted to their living-room accommodations that their car windows never open, their house windows never open, they never steep on dirt, and they never truly live. The outdoors becomes something unknown and with mystery there is born a fear.
Fear is how the masses are controlled. With the seed of the fear of the unknown so easily planted, it is planted and manipulated to coerce the unaware into playing along with ever intrusive and downright evil ways of modern western society. The ridiculousness of the things--everything--that is being done to the human race is reaching a point where I'm to ask, "how long will it, or can it, continue?"
****
My father, who lives in the same, rather small, apartment complex as I, called me on my seldom-used cellular phone. He was curious if I want to go out for dinner and I suggested the local german restaurant just a ten minute walk away. We drove to the restaurant through stop and go traffic and spent some time trying to find a parking spot. I had suggested walking earlier but this was merely brushed of as a bit of humor. Afterward we drove back to the apartment complex and were minded to visit the wine and liquor store just one quarter of a mile down the road. I implored that we travel by foot and after some bit of convincing my rather able bodied father agreed to this as it was a beautifully cool evening and the sun was just setting beyond the river. We held somewhat interesting (although he might not have thought so) conversion on our journey with him complaining about walking up the extremely meager incline on the return trip. Once in his own apartment where I was to visit for a remaining moment and sip some of his newly-purchased whiskey, it was noticeably stuffy. He pressed the remote nest to his reclining chair are the air-conditioning unit whirred to life and blew chilled, stale air into the room. After some brief further discussion and a glass of flavorless whiskey I departed to my own way for an evening of my own contemplations and another trip outside, my father sitting in his favorite chair watching television with a full glass of rye on ice.
I rode down a dark road where I could see the faintest bit of twilight just fading away as the Earth continued its normal rotation and as many stars as one could see from the middle of a mid-sized--and growing--town on the western edges of Wisconsin. It was just getting chilly enough to show my breath as I exhaled. Once home I come to the door that is usually my entrance into the halled apartment complex and very soon noticed that there were several air condition unit running full tilt. From there it was the same as always through the hallway and my own, slightly stuck front door leading into my under-lit apartment.
I saw the same thing in Phoenix. It could be twenty-five degrees outside and yet people would persist in running the air conditioner to cool down their over-heated apartments. This was at the same time I couldn't get enough heat into my living space (I have been living without a heater and using no lights). Then as is now, I find it remarkable at the inability of people to open a window to cool their space instead of using the air conditioner and I have to ask, "why?" Why is our society becoming so hopelessly addicted to the conveniences we're given that they are almost becoming inconveniences? How could someone possibly find it easier and more comforting to complain about the inadequacy of air-cooling unit and be uncomfortable in their living space than to simply open up the window to be comfortable? It's madness that I can barely comprehend. There's an unwillingness to open even a screened window as if there is some sort of disabling superstition that something other than pure, artificial air may enter that's also accompanied with the obsessive and unnoticed psychological addiction to any and every man-made machine available. It's like in 1984 when '2+2=5"." "Nothing is better than modern technology. Nothing is better than modern technology," is the nonsense that is consistently and subliminally drilled into our skulls from every corner of today's western world.
What's happening is that the majority of the human race is being trained to utterly forget exactly where we come from. I can just see the latest medical magazines telling us, "If you weren't born in a plastic tube, you're FUCKED!" We're being trained to forget that the Earth is the vessel for all life we could possibly experience or even imagine. To those who would not pay attention to the further and increasingly conclusive studies to the contrary, it is becoming ever more nigh impossible to think that rolling around in the dirt, and drinking unpasteurized milk, isn't going to kill you. It's all too easy to look back a hundred years and say that bleed out from the ankles to cure the common cold is madness but it's also all too easy to see the teaching from anywhere in the past thirty-six thousand years and see that popping synthetic pills filled with unreal and bare, unnatural substances that have adverse affects on the body is madness. But all of that is......not at all besides the point, actually.
I think one of the greatest imaginable evils in today's world is the television. It is the television that makes one so easily controllable. It is the television that makes one uncomfortable with the Earth. It is the television that lulls one into a hypnotic daze that wastes away the time and keeps the mind from realizing the truth that is every day you spend watching TV is a day utterly wasted.
A mother wakes up, readies herself for the day, takes her kids to daycare and goes to work. In the evening she picks her kids up, goes home, feeds herself and her kids, and watches television before going to bed. She has accomplished nothing. One more day of survival has passed. She conducted her routine at work and at home. Not once did she take the time to ponder her situation and place in this world, her kids' place in this world, nor anything that could be done to change or better it. Yes, there are hopes for the future, but they are merely hopes. She uses the television at night to take her away from worrying about whatever it is she is inclined to worry or concern herself about. You can see it in her eyes when the commercials roll forth, battering her with a blitzkrieg of useless information, images, pseudo-fantasies, and, let's be honest here, lies. You see that sort of glazed look you see when someones been hypnotized on a stage or slumped in a hallway after shooting heroin. If you're watching you can see that she is absent from the real world, stuck in a hole that she can't so easily escape from--on the edge of starting to drool. The eyes of this woman are not the eyes of a great thinker, or even a simpleton farmer who, in the truest essence of things, is a great thinker. No--no, she is a zombie--a sad and almost pitiful sight as you can nearly see her brains and willpower melting slowly away with every minute that those phosphorescent images flash rapidly in her face. She has accomplished no improvement nor evolution in her thought or development as a spiritual being. She and her life are wasting away.
As I said, the television is the greatest of all evils. It drugs the user into a numb stupor that after repeated use, make the situation of sitting in a chair in the confines of a single enclosed living space--a prison--ever more ideal and comfortable to the point where anything outside of this norm is something bordering on a nightmare. And that point, dear reader, is one of the reasons everybody in the world is outright lazy. Rather than taking the time to walk two blocks to the drug store for condoms and a pack of cigarettes, they get in their car and drive. They drive because they want to get away from the outside air and back in front of their television set, or their computer, as quickly as possible. They can't be bothered to take and extra fifteen minutes to commute two miles to work. Eventually, they become so rancidly addicted to their living-room accommodations that their car windows never open, their house windows never open, they never steep on dirt, and they never truly live. The outdoors becomes something unknown and with mystery there is born a fear.
Fear is how the masses are controlled. With the seed of the fear of the unknown so easily planted, it is planted and manipulated to coerce the unaware into playing along with ever intrusive and downright evil ways of modern western society. The ridiculousness of the things--everything--that is being done to the human race is reaching a point where I'm to ask, "how long will it, or can it, continue?"
****
My father, who lives in the same, rather small, apartment complex as I, called me on my seldom-used cellular phone. He was curious if I want to go out for dinner and I suggested the local german restaurant just a ten minute walk away. We drove to the restaurant through stop and go traffic and spent some time trying to find a parking spot. I had suggested walking earlier but this was merely brushed of as a bit of humor. Afterward we drove back to the apartment complex and were minded to visit the wine and liquor store just one quarter of a mile down the road. I implored that we travel by foot and after some bit of convincing my rather able bodied father agreed to this as it was a beautifully cool evening and the sun was just setting beyond the river. We held somewhat interesting (although he might not have thought so) conversion on our journey with him complaining about walking up the extremely meager incline on the return trip. Once in his own apartment where I was to visit for a remaining moment and sip some of his newly-purchased whiskey, it was noticeably stuffy. He pressed the remote nest to his reclining chair are the air-conditioning unit whirred to life and blew chilled, stale air into the room. After some brief further discussion and a glass of flavorless whiskey I departed to my own way for an evening of my own contemplations and another trip outside, my father sitting in his favorite chair watching television with a full glass of rye on ice.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Smoke Rings!
There's something about tobacco and its being terrifically old fashioned that make it one of those things I hope I still get to enjoy in the wake of the flood. I can live without all the fancy technology, over-abundant petroleum, and frivolous material things like my amazing stereo, but simple things like a good smoke once in a while while whistling or singing a new tune I hope I get to enjoy just a while longer.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Emerging from the dark of night into the chaos of the afternoon is a stressful experience. For the most part, as of late, I've been living a nocturnal existence. While I am wakeful as the world wakes up after sunrise, I sleep while the world is most busy. I hide away from the prying eyes of the common folk in attempt to isolate myself from what corruption I can so easily. It wasn't until just recently that I realized how accustomed to the night I had become. The quietness, the cooler air, the confidence in actions, and the ability to rightly pursue those actions are all the result of being wakeful at a time when only as many people should responsibly populate a given area are also wakeful. In other words, the world around one's self is less crowded just before sunrise.
Maybe it could just be that I am one for living out in the openness of the country rather than the city, but the desired to avoid the public en masse is ever growing stronger and I am to briefly wonder if I am developing some sort of anti-social personality disorder. I think this conflict with society comes from spending so much time dwelling deep within the recesses of my own thoughts and contemplations. At night, I may go to the store, for whatever I may need to acquire, and I free to walk about unhindered in such a way that allows me to keeps the majority of my thoughts elsewhere aside from the task of obtaining groceries--I don't have to focus on navigating through hordes of seemingly confused and directionless people.
People change depending on where you go and what you look for and that is something that is worth keeping in mind through my spilling of these thoughts among whomever may be reading this. Everything here stems from a trip to Walmart I attempted on a Saturday at 1430 hours. Though this writing is brought about by that... adventure, this all is something I've been considering for some time now. It is simply confusion and "confusion" is the best word that, in my mind, describes what is happening at the base level of the society that I see here in the American southwest. Indeed it seems to be true that all around the world our priorities as the humans race are not, exactly, where they should be.
And then there, driving among the throngs of people doing whatever it is they do on Saturday afternoon (or at least trying to get there), that I felt as though everyone around not only had lack of order in the list of priorities and thoughts, but also a complete ignorance that they were all a part of something infinitely larger than the football game they were determined to catch on the television. And I perceived that this uncertainty in the upper mind had oozed its way down to their basic levels of physical action and decision making. The way they push the shopping cart through the parking lot, the way they pull their kids out of the SUV, the way they change lanes when driving, and the way the first three people in the left turn lane when the arrow turns green all seem to radiate and air of uncertainty, or some lack of intrinsic power that tells the rational mind "I am doing this" in a concrete and solid manner. To myself, watching almost as a third party while, at the same time, being fully immersed in the mental chaos, I felt as if everyone and their thought were made of Jello. This, however is something that cannot be solely blamed on the individual. If one were to play the blame-game, which is not a particularly constructive one by any means, you could say the insane amount of distractions are playing a role in the structural integrity of the muddy Slip n' Slide that our society is currently enjoying its downhill ride on.
The distractions are everywhere and they permeate almost every level of being of mind that we can conceive. Cell phones, iPods, video games, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, billboards, posters, TVs EVERYWHERE, commercials, cars, fear-mongering, and obsessive envy of the other--all things that have brainwashed everyone into fooling themselves that loving thy neighbor, knowledge, and care for ALL things that support both their physical AND spiritual development are not the things that should be the top items on the list of concerns of their conscious, daily thought. That this is true can be seen when things such as cellular phones, or even basic things such as ELECTRICITY, become absolute necessity when, in absolute truth, they are by no means such.
I know very well that I am not immune to this and that is a fact that can be proven by the knowledge that you are reading this now. I have slowly been trying to isolate myself more and more from the psycho-spiritual prison of modern society and it's mind-controlling distractions-from-truth but I am still present here, something you can know by the fact that your are reading this. I have, at least, almost completely cut myself off from popular culture and am about as literate in the Twilight saga as my 85 year-old grandfather, but it is a challenge to remain sane (if you want to call it that) amidst the Blitzkrieg of advertisements that permeate every corner of cyberspace. I also know that I am still very young and likely as naive as I am to think I'm not. Wisdom comes with age, and this body is not so full of age that I should consider myself a philosophical sage of any sorts. And after that little derailment I'm going to jump back to the topic that spawned it.
I was immersed in the confusion of that Saturday afternoon when I realised just how far I had retreated from that world. I could barely take handle over the situation and I had to flee from it all. That I needed (wanted) milk was the reason I ventured out in the first place and Walmart was not the place I wanted to acquire it, as close to my dwelling as it was. I needed to go to a place where there was some sense of direction and solid decision of "I am doing this," and that place was the gas station. Where I went is of little importance. What is of importance in the mental energy that everyone radiates. I could FEEL the confusion and lack of direction that infected the masses of people around me. I could FEEL is stabbing at my brain like a rusty blade that only served to heighten my frustration. I was so accustomed having enough space to BREATHE and make my decisions with the kind of solidity that was lacking during the day that not having the room, or ability, to act with confidence (and kindness) without get 'stuck' amidst the actions of others less sure of themselves. My patience for negligence, rudeness, and ignorance has dwindled to a point that borders on narcissism, but I draw a fine line between my code of self-conduct and narcissism. But then again, I'd almost rather be myself and narcissistic than a hollow shell created by the brain washing mechanism that is popular culture.
Everywhere we go we are told what is "good" and who is "bad". And everywhere we look there is someone or something telling us what to buy and what to want. We are told what is beautiful and what we want to look like. We are lied to about what is important and we are lied to in such a way every single day. It doesn't end. It's "a prison for your mind." You have to isolate yourself and protect your self from the spells being cast down upon your eyes and wake up. Staying beneath the warm pseudo-blanket will lead you only more swiftly to the demise of yourself, your surroundings, and the the unified world society as a whole.
After all of these thoughts I yet keep in mind that I might simply be delusional. All of the books I read, the biases with which I listen to the daily news and read the daily reports from around the world, the blogs I read, and the things I hear from the people around me could very well be having a severe affect on my thinking and, if I am indeed delusional, my mental health. But despite that ever-present possibility I still cling on to the notion that crazy people don't know they're crazy. Sometime I find myself contemplating this idea and stumble into a never ending fractal spiral of logic and I must stop and make a hard choice as to where to settle.
That fractal of knowledge IS knowledge in and of itself. Knowledge is infinite--it is beyond infinite--and is one of the three truly important things I mentioned earlier. To strive for knowledge is the yearning of becoming a higher being in all the realms that permeate everything we sense and everything we don't. Without knowledge a human is nothing, and with knowledge, a human can grow and develop as exponentially as that human mind is to desire. There is much to learn and more to understand, and that you have read this far is a sign that you understand, on some level, the importance of any sort of knowledge.
And with that I find myself in a seemingly never ending search for sources and forms of information and knowing that I will not name here (just yet). I wake upon dusk and shun out the popular world that is seeping itself over an ever increasing area of our humble planet. I seemed to have formed, or am forming, a different system of logic and comprehension from what is common in this era and I feel ever more distant from the outside world as my mental chasms grow ever deeper with every bit of information I gather. But all of this at the same times as I am feeling more connected with others because I am beginning to comprehend the importance of people. When you take off the skin and the facades we are all extremely similar and contain all the same penitential should the individual desire to develop it. But, despite this, I currently have the notion in my mind that, at this point in time, I cannot change the world, and as such have lost the desire to do so.
That doesn't mean I like to write any less, though. I feel better now having gotten blown off some steam from Saturday.
I'll go back into my cave now (and not work on my atrocious spelling and grammar)...
Maybe it could just be that I am one for living out in the openness of the country rather than the city, but the desired to avoid the public en masse is ever growing stronger and I am to briefly wonder if I am developing some sort of anti-social personality disorder. I think this conflict with society comes from spending so much time dwelling deep within the recesses of my own thoughts and contemplations. At night, I may go to the store, for whatever I may need to acquire, and I free to walk about unhindered in such a way that allows me to keeps the majority of my thoughts elsewhere aside from the task of obtaining groceries--I don't have to focus on navigating through hordes of seemingly confused and directionless people.
People change depending on where you go and what you look for and that is something that is worth keeping in mind through my spilling of these thoughts among whomever may be reading this. Everything here stems from a trip to Walmart I attempted on a Saturday at 1430 hours. Though this writing is brought about by that... adventure, this all is something I've been considering for some time now. It is simply confusion and "confusion" is the best word that, in my mind, describes what is happening at the base level of the society that I see here in the American southwest. Indeed it seems to be true that all around the world our priorities as the humans race are not, exactly, where they should be.
And then there, driving among the throngs of people doing whatever it is they do on Saturday afternoon (or at least trying to get there), that I felt as though everyone around not only had lack of order in the list of priorities and thoughts, but also a complete ignorance that they were all a part of something infinitely larger than the football game they were determined to catch on the television. And I perceived that this uncertainty in the upper mind had oozed its way down to their basic levels of physical action and decision making. The way they push the shopping cart through the parking lot, the way they pull their kids out of the SUV, the way they change lanes when driving, and the way the first three people in the left turn lane when the arrow turns green all seem to radiate and air of uncertainty, or some lack of intrinsic power that tells the rational mind "I am doing this" in a concrete and solid manner. To myself, watching almost as a third party while, at the same time, being fully immersed in the mental chaos, I felt as if everyone and their thought were made of Jello. This, however is something that cannot be solely blamed on the individual. If one were to play the blame-game, which is not a particularly constructive one by any means, you could say the insane amount of distractions are playing a role in the structural integrity of the muddy Slip n' Slide that our society is currently enjoying its downhill ride on.
The distractions are everywhere and they permeate almost every level of being of mind that we can conceive. Cell phones, iPods, video games, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, billboards, posters, TVs EVERYWHERE, commercials, cars, fear-mongering, and obsessive envy of the other--all things that have brainwashed everyone into fooling themselves that loving thy neighbor, knowledge, and care for ALL things that support both their physical AND spiritual development are not the things that should be the top items on the list of concerns of their conscious, daily thought. That this is true can be seen when things such as cellular phones, or even basic things such as ELECTRICITY, become absolute necessity when, in absolute truth, they are by no means such.
I know very well that I am not immune to this and that is a fact that can be proven by the knowledge that you are reading this now. I have slowly been trying to isolate myself more and more from the psycho-spiritual prison of modern society and it's mind-controlling distractions-from-truth but I am still present here, something you can know by the fact that your are reading this. I have, at least, almost completely cut myself off from popular culture and am about as literate in the Twilight saga as my 85 year-old grandfather, but it is a challenge to remain sane (if you want to call it that) amidst the Blitzkrieg of advertisements that permeate every corner of cyberspace. I also know that I am still very young and likely as naive as I am to think I'm not. Wisdom comes with age, and this body is not so full of age that I should consider myself a philosophical sage of any sorts. And after that little derailment I'm going to jump back to the topic that spawned it.
I was immersed in the confusion of that Saturday afternoon when I realised just how far I had retreated from that world. I could barely take handle over the situation and I had to flee from it all. That I needed (wanted) milk was the reason I ventured out in the first place and Walmart was not the place I wanted to acquire it, as close to my dwelling as it was. I needed to go to a place where there was some sense of direction and solid decision of "I am doing this," and that place was the gas station. Where I went is of little importance. What is of importance in the mental energy that everyone radiates. I could FEEL the confusion and lack of direction that infected the masses of people around me. I could FEEL is stabbing at my brain like a rusty blade that only served to heighten my frustration. I was so accustomed having enough space to BREATHE and make my decisions with the kind of solidity that was lacking during the day that not having the room, or ability, to act with confidence (and kindness) without get 'stuck' amidst the actions of others less sure of themselves. My patience for negligence, rudeness, and ignorance has dwindled to a point that borders on narcissism, but I draw a fine line between my code of self-conduct and narcissism. But then again, I'd almost rather be myself and narcissistic than a hollow shell created by the brain washing mechanism that is popular culture.
Everywhere we go we are told what is "good" and who is "bad". And everywhere we look there is someone or something telling us what to buy and what to want. We are told what is beautiful and what we want to look like. We are lied to about what is important and we are lied to in such a way every single day. It doesn't end. It's "a prison for your mind." You have to isolate yourself and protect your self from the spells being cast down upon your eyes and wake up. Staying beneath the warm pseudo-blanket will lead you only more swiftly to the demise of yourself, your surroundings, and the the unified world society as a whole.
After all of these thoughts I yet keep in mind that I might simply be delusional. All of the books I read, the biases with which I listen to the daily news and read the daily reports from around the world, the blogs I read, and the things I hear from the people around me could very well be having a severe affect on my thinking and, if I am indeed delusional, my mental health. But despite that ever-present possibility I still cling on to the notion that crazy people don't know they're crazy. Sometime I find myself contemplating this idea and stumble into a never ending fractal spiral of logic and I must stop and make a hard choice as to where to settle.
That fractal of knowledge IS knowledge in and of itself. Knowledge is infinite--it is beyond infinite--and is one of the three truly important things I mentioned earlier. To strive for knowledge is the yearning of becoming a higher being in all the realms that permeate everything we sense and everything we don't. Without knowledge a human is nothing, and with knowledge, a human can grow and develop as exponentially as that human mind is to desire. There is much to learn and more to understand, and that you have read this far is a sign that you understand, on some level, the importance of any sort of knowledge.
And with that I find myself in a seemingly never ending search for sources and forms of information and knowing that I will not name here (just yet). I wake upon dusk and shun out the popular world that is seeping itself over an ever increasing area of our humble planet. I seemed to have formed, or am forming, a different system of logic and comprehension from what is common in this era and I feel ever more distant from the outside world as my mental chasms grow ever deeper with every bit of information I gather. But all of this at the same times as I am feeling more connected with others because I am beginning to comprehend the importance of people. When you take off the skin and the facades we are all extremely similar and contain all the same penitential should the individual desire to develop it. But, despite this, I currently have the notion in my mind that, at this point in time, I cannot change the world, and as such have lost the desire to do so.
That doesn't mean I like to write any less, though. I feel better now having gotten blown off some steam from Saturday.
I'll go back into my cave now (and not work on my atrocious spelling and grammar)...
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